About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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