escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
