we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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