i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize