new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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