True but thats because hes a fetus.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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