I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
