I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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