I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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