she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
