Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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