He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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