ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
