Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
