I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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