are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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