Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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