as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
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Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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