i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
