My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
