Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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