im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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