i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
