she was so not down for the gang bang
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
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I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
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I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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