On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
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So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We had to coat check the pizza.
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hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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