Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
