Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
They are going to name an STD after you.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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