I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I feel like death gave me a hand job
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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