hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize