I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
