Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize