Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
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Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
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We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.