Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme