To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?