last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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