Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
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got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
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Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.