So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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