nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.