i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
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She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
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You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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