I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
