I wish you could order shots online.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize