I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
