I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
