i jhust puked up my retainher.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
