So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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