I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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