Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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