just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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