Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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