well I can't set my house on fire every night
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
