i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
50% drunk capacity currently
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
