two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it