saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.