Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes

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  (916): If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes http://tfl.nu/yckh
  Replies (14) Good night (957) Bad night (3350)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!

  (1-228): View more from Mississippi

  brownberry?

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  (228): Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!! (1-228): brownberry? http://tfl.nu/y1s8
  Replies (19) Good night (1433) Bad night (6090)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Used tampon in my purse. That from you?

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  (330): Used tampon in my purse. That from you? http://tfl.nu/lpyn
  Replies (27) Good night (771) Bad night (9331)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?

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  (210): beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon? http://tfl.nu/djkx
  Replies (17) Good night (3998) Bad night (697)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.

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  (+44): I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life. http://tfl.nu/7cvo
  Replies (21) Good night (8804) Bad night (929)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.

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  (602): So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better. http://tfl.nu/qcgw
  Replies (79) Good night (4145) Bad night (7878)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.

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  (480): Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars. http://tfl.nu/f73b
  Replies (14) Good night (8603) Bad night (1081)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  you inspire me to be a worse person

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  (360): you inspire me to be a worse person http://tfl.nu/en33
  Replies (6) Good night (3534) Bad night (1320)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum

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  (734): Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum http://tfl.nu/virf
  Replies (4) Good night (1912) Bad night (965)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.

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  (615): Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3. http://tfl.nu/3wgo
  Replies (4) Good night (2198) Bad night (1047)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.

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  (614): 2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever. http://tfl.nu/992h
  Replies (15) Good night (2768) Bad night (775)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.

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  (207): Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk. http://tfl.nu/4vbt
  Replies (4) Good night (1839) Bad night (658)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud

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  (256): I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud http://tfl.nu/dlrj
  Replies (12) Good night (1801) Bad night (699)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.

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  (480): We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us. http://tfl.nu/1i5v
  Replies (5) Good night (910) Bad night (337)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??

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  (541): is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to?? http://tfl.nu/l7wp
  Replies (6) Good night (399) Bad night (612)

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