He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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