a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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