i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
