that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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