I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
