I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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