i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
