im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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