If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
