All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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