I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
