in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
