The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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